Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
