I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
