Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
