Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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