Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
