I puked a lego.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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