I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
