Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
