you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
