If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i dont even know how to be here
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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