Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
