i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
