Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
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Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.