Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.