Texts From Last Night

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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf

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  (832): dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf http://tfl.nu/g2ft
  Replies (6) Good night (872) Bad night (1435)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.

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  (763): I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska. http://tfl.nu/wvmg
  Replies (25) Good night (1005) Bad night (4767)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  Me specifically?

  (903): View more from Texas

  Yep.

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  (903): Today in psych we learned that you are a whore. (1-314): Me specifically? (903): Yep. http://tfl.nu/w818
  Replies (44) Good night (9842) Bad night (1318)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.

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  (781): I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on. http://tfl.nu/begu
  Replies (6) Good night (3937) Bad night (1133)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He made me a "booty call of the year" award.

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  (360): He made me a "booty call of the year" award. http://tfl.nu/7b1z
  Replies (15) Good night (3928) Bad night (1391)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.

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  (+44): I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland. http://tfl.nu/8trz
  Replies (5) Good night (2213) Bad night (921)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.

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  (646): Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/s0ys
  Replies (5) Good night (3482) Bad night (816)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity

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  (813): If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity http://tfl.nu/nz31
  Replies (4) Good night (1148) Bad night (554)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.

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  (+61): You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success. http://tfl.nu/j71q
  Replies (5) Good night (1664) Bad night (653)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.

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  (903): I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night. http://tfl.nu/xgeq
  Replies (13) Good night (1095) Bad night (853)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.

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  (906): When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house. http://tfl.nu/xuce
  Replies (8) Good night (633) Bad night (921)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"

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  (229): He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets" http://tfl.nu/6jbp
  Replies (2) Good night (1329) Bad night (582)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  How high are you exactly

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  (443): Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis (828): How high are you exactly http://tfl.nu/wb80
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (304)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!

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  (318): WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW! http://tfl.nu/fuwp
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (387)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.

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  (225): I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College. http://tfl.nu/xtto
  Replies (7) Good night (405) Bad night (741)

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