i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
