i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
