i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
