They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
