Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize