Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
