I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
