It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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