So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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