My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
