I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
