dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
