I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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