hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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