margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
