did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
