return my video game
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
