Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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