don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
