Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  69 |D_O

  (1-602): View more from Arizona

  wtf does that mean??

  (602): View more from Arizona

  it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"

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  (602): 69 |D_O (1-602): wtf does that mean?? (602): it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently" http://tfl.nu/6ega
  Replies (59) Good night (7653) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts

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  (847): his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts http://tfl.nu/kozn
  Replies (11) Good night (4235) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Darwin at his finest.

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  (571): You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg. (202): Darwin at his finest. http://tfl.nu/rqsd
  Replies (25) Good night (6008) Bad night (1344)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics

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  (773): I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics http://tfl.nu/o0a3
  Replies (21) Good night (6563) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.

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  (386): Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation. http://tfl.nu/xc4n
  Replies (27) Good night (5447) Bad night (1925)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.

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  (203): My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression. http://tfl.nu/go1x
  Replies (52) Good night (1334) Bad night (5340)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out

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  (765): Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out http://tfl.nu/pydc
  Replies (8) Good night (999) Bad night (3148)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?

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  (616): Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive? http://tfl.nu/dksl
  Replies (3) Good night (1933) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!

  (207): View more from Maine

  I just puked in my drinking hat.

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  (708): Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending! (207): I just puked in my drinking hat. http://tfl.nu/2gwn
  Replies (1) Good night (2153) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.

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  (780): I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now. http://tfl.nu/ehba
  Replies (10) Good night (1506) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.

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  (905): sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night. http://tfl.nu/nv7h
  Replies (5) Good night (1163) Bad night (1439)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  That's a hard toss up

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  (413): I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver (1-413): That's a hard toss up http://tfl.nu/wcmj
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense

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  (330): i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense http://tfl.nu/4n80
  Replies (0) Good night (503) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.

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  (727): He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest. http://tfl.nu/r7wh
  Replies (3) Good night (351) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.

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  (240): He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur. http://tfl.nu/z4pa
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (396)

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