Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien

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(971): View more from Oregon

I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.

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(315): View more from New York

He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.

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(310): View more from California

Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(302): View more from Delaware

How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

he told me it was like eating gods vagina.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.

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(512): View more from Texas

Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo

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