ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
