and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
