just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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