Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
