She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
