There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
