thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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