from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
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He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
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there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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