I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
sex in a hospital.. check
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
