I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
