In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
