Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
