Umm I'm too high to move.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
