I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
