It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize