I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize