i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
