ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
