now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize