Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
