I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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