If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Found the puke drawer
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
