All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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