and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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