How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
