There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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