I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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