I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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