My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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