I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
