I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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