she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
