508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
